


If I Lay Here

by scribbleplates



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: F/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-02-01
Updated: 2014-02-01
Packaged: 2018-01-10 18:46:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 8
Words: 6,314
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1163204
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scribbleplates/pseuds/scribbleplates
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>(Levi x Reader) The year is 845, a few months before the fall of Shiganshina. Starting off your first day as part of the Survey Corps, you meet Lance Corporal Levi. As you prepare for a dangerous expedition beyond the walls, you unexpectedly begin to fall in love, which is something you never expected to happen in the military.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Wings of Freedom

Finally, the day had arrived.

 

After years of watching the Scouting Legion and waiting until you were old enough to join the military, the day had come, and it was time for you to join. You just hoped those five years of extensive military training would be worth it.

 

_Of course it would be worth it._ You shook the thought out of your head. Everyone you knew said you were crazy for wanting to join the Scouting Legion. You said that they were crazy if they believed that the walls would hold forever. You didn't want to cause arguments, you just wanted to protect the ones that you loved, and to wear the wings of freedom on your back.

 

You stood in a row with your fellow graduates, your hands in tight fists behind your back. Some of your classmates looked like they might pass out, and some looked like they might cry. They were listening to Erwin Smith, of course, and his speech about joining the Scouting Legion. You tried to block out his words as much as possible. You made up your mind years ago, and you hadn't come all this way just to be scared into joining another division.

 

You could just join the Military Police; live an easy life. After all, you had graduated 5th from your class, so it was possible. Maybe you could rock that unicorn on your jacket…

 

_Why am I having all these doubts?_ You clenched your teeth together and tuned in to the last bits of Commander Erwin's speech.

 

"....Many of you will die. But those that survive will have a high survival rate. Ask yourself, are you willing to die in order to protect humanity?" His voice boomed over the rows of trainees. "Anyone who wishes to join a different branch can leave now."

 

There was silence. For a moment, no one moved. You were sure most of them had stopped breathing too. Finally, those who decided they weren't man enough to fight started to leave. Some of them bumped you on their way out, but you continued to face forward with your feet firmly on the ground. Once the crowd had cleared out, Erwin took a look at the ones left.

 

"Are you prepared to die?" He said grimly.

 

"I don't want to die!" Someone called out.

 

"I see," he said. "I welcome everyone here to the Scouting Legion! Salute!" He put his fist over his heart and his arm behind his back. You and the other trainees copied.

 

You glanced over to your side and saw that the girl next to you was starting to cry. _If she's crying,_ you thought, _then why is she here?_ You recognized her as Alexandra. She had graduated near the bottom of the class, and you were surprised that she wanted to join the Scouting Legion at all. She didn't seem like a very strong person, emotionally or physically.

 

"You are brave for facing your fear," said Commander Erwin, addressing the remaining trainees. "You have my heartfelt respect. Your training begins tomorrow."

 

_More training?_ You groaned silently. You had just spent five years training! How much more did you need?


	2. A New Life

"Trainees! Salute!"

You and the others thumped your fists over your hearts. It was almost the end of your first day as an official member of the Scouting Legion, and you were mentally exhausted. When Commander Erwin said "training", you had been expecting more of the same physical stuff that you'd been doing for the past five years. You figured that "mental torture" was a much more accurate term for what you were doing. Your entire day had consisted of memorizing boring details and strategies out of textbooks. You hated sitting in a classroom and learning. You liked to be out there, learning through experience, rather than exhausting your brain power by reading.

"I'm Squad Leader Ness," shouted the man at the front of the crowd. "And these are-"

"Ness!" An older man with short blondish hair interrupted.

"Excuse me, Auruo, but I'm in the middle of something." Ness glared at him. 

"I'll take it from here," he said, gesturing for Ness and his horse to leave. "Now listen here, you little shits. Don't know if you're aware or not, but the corporal's a bit of a clean-freak. If you're gonna to be spending time here, then you gotta do your part. Grab a sponge and get scrubbin'."

"Seriously...?" One of your classmates complained.

"Seriously!" Auruo yelled. "Now get goin'!"

~

You soaked your sponge in the bucket of soap next to you and slopped it back down on the floor. "Why do we have to do this?" You grumbled. "Who's the corporal anyway, and why do we have to listen to him?"

"You're kidding, right?" Falco, a skinny, brown haired kid from your graduating class, responded to your complaint. "Corporal Levi?"

You stared idly up at the ceiling and frowned. "Why does that name ring a bell?"

"Maybe because he's said to be humanity's most powerful soldier?" Falco dropped his sponge mid-scrub and pointed. "Look, there he is."

You turned around, staring intently in the direction he was pointing. There was a short, black-haired man with a green cloak walking his horse over to Squad Leader Ness. He must have been the corporal.

"He's surprisingly small," You remarked.

"Don't underestimate him. He's got awesome fighting skills!" Falco clasped his hands together excitedly.

Levi stopped in his tracks and turned his head, suddenly making eye contact with you. You sucked in a deep breath. What if he had heard you? He was in earshot, after all.

"Ness," he said dully, still staring you down. "Why are the rookies scrubbing the floor?"

Ness saluted him before speaking. "Auruo made them, sir. He seemed to imply that you had ordered it."

He frowned. "Well, I didn't. I'll have a word with him later." He broke eye contact with you for a second and handed his horse off to Ness, and you breathed a sigh of relief.

However, your relaxation was cut short when you noticed that he was now walking over to you.

You and Falco scrambled off the floor and saluted him. "Corporal!" you exclaimed. 

"What's your name, rookie?" he asked. He was a bit intimidating from up close, and you couldn't tell if the sour look on his face indicated boredom or some sort of annoyance.

"Uh, um... _____," you stammered.

He raised his eyebrows. "No need to be so nervous, _____."

"Yes sir," you squeaked, voice a little higher than you had intended. 

He glanced over at Falco, then at the sponges, then out at the rest of the trainees. "You can all stop cleaning now, " he announced. "Go back to what you were doing before."

You let out a breath of air as you watched him turn around and walk away. If he was about to punish you for calling him short, at least he wasn't going to do it now.

~

That night, as you lay in your bed and did your best to fall asleep, you couldn't stop thinking about him. No matter how much you tried to clear your mind, you couldn't help but smile at the memory of that afternoon. You had tried putting your pillow over your face, hoping that it might distract you, but it accomplished nothing more than asphyxiation. There was no way that the captain of the Special Operations Squad would go for a rookie like you. You weren't an amazing fighter or anything. But he... he was good.

You tossed the pillow on the floor, gasping for breath. _I need an actual distraction,_ you thought. _Maybe a book._ A plan now in mind, you climbed out of bed and headed for the door, creaking it open quietly so as not to wake anyone up. The halls were cold, and you wrapped your arms around your body for warmth as you searched for the library. It was just around the corner, if you remembered correctly. Walking as quickly as you could, you pivoted and turned the corner- and nearly collided with corporal Levi. You stopped just before crashing into one another, faces both painted with surprised expressions.

"O-oh! Sorry!" You apologized quickly, but then noticed cloth knotted around his head and the feather duster in his hand. A laugh escaped from your lungs before you could restrain it, and you clapped your hand over your mouth.

He frowned, looking slightly irritated. "Are you laughing at me, rookie?"

You shook your head no, trying your best not to smile. He looked past you, into the hallway. "I thought everyone would be asleep," he muttered. "Why are you still up?"

"I was going to go read," You replied, a little too enthusiastic.

"Reading? ...it's a little late, don't you think?"

"I um, want to go over some things.." you replied.

He sighed. "You should just go to bed."

"Um, okay," Still concentrating on pulling the best poker face you could manage, you turned away from him. You didn't even pause to salute him before scurrying back down the hall to your room. Now how were you supposed to sleep?


	3. Raindrops

"Hey trainees! Come get your uniforms!"

You'd been waiting to hear those words since the day you joined the Recon Corps. Springing from your seat where you had been "reading", you eagerly grabbed a cloak and a jacket from the guys standing at the door and put them on. Confidence surged through you as you admired the wings of freedom on your back in a mirror. You were so distracted by your uniform, you didn't even notice Levi standing behind you.

"Congratulations," he said. "I don't think I've ever seen anyone get so excited about a piece of fabric." You blushed and looked down at the floor as he continued to speak. "Hey, rookie. Come make yourself useful and help me carry some stuff, would you?"

Nodding , you followed him outside to a pile of wood. The sky looked incredibly dark overhead. Maybe a storm was coming. Levi bent down and picked up half the pile. "C'mon, don't slack," he said. You picked up the rest of the wood and followed him to a large shed.

"Why weren't these just taken here to begin with?" you asked as you dumped the wood onto the shed floor.

"Because people are lazy," Levi replied, turning around and walking back towards the door.

A gentle pattering noise sounded from the roof, and you caught him by the arm before he stepped outside.

"It's raining!" you commented.

"No shit," Levi replied. "We'll wait here until it lightens up a bit. Wouldn't want to get your new uniform all soaked now would we?" He sat down on the floor, resting his back up against the door frame. You copied him.

"Can I ask you a question?" he said, catching you off guard.

"Uh, um.. sure."

"Why did you join the Survey Corps?"

You stared down at your feet. "I want to protect my family. I don't believe that humanity will be safe from the Titans forever, and when the time comes that we're not, I want to be ready. I want to know how they work. How they can be defeated."

"Don't you think you'll regret that decision once it comes time to leave the wall?"

You looked him in the eyes. "The only thing we can do is believe that we won't regret the choice we made."

He was silent for a few seconds, then rested his hand on top of yours. "That green looks good on you, _____." He called you by your name, and not "rookie" like he always did. You smiled at him.

To your astonishment, he smiled back.

Unsure of what to do, you stood up and looked at the sky. "It seems to be getting a bit lighter now," you remarked.

Levi stood up too, and moved closer to you. He tucked a strand of your hair behind your ear, and took your face in his hands. "Nice eyes, too."

You blushed a deep red. "Thanks."

Next thing you knew, he pulled you into a hug. His arms wrapped around your waist and his chest pressed against yours, closely enough that you could feel his body heat. You hesitated for a moment, but then accepted the hug and squeezed your arms around his back, pulling him in even closer.

"You're beautiful," he whispered.

You didn't think it possible to blush any more than you were already, but apparently it was. You closed your eyes and took in every moment, wishing that you could stay like this forever.


	4. Shushed

The next several days were filled with a lot of amorous looks between you and Levi. Your heart would flutter every time he looked at you, and you felt like melting when he would grab your hand out of the blue. You thought about him constantly, so much that it was becoming hard to concentrate in during your classes.

You sat in the chair that you always sat in with a book in your hand, pretending to read. But you weren't even bothering to turn the pages anymore. Instead, you were staring at Levi, who was currently shelving books across the room from you.

Where did you even begin with him?

Your thoughts were interrupted when one of your classmates, Moses, tapped you on the shoulder. Apparently, it was time for a lesson. You had gotten used to these surprise classes by now, so you put the book down and followed Moses out the door.

"We're leaving on an expedition in a week," said Moses.

"We are?" You followed him through the hallways, walking briskly to keep up with him.

"Yes. We're about to go over the squad positioning," he said.

"Oh great. More memorizing," You yawned. Why didn't Levi tell me this?

 

To your surprise, it turned out that you would be in the positioned in the rear-center area, rather than being placed on the outside of the formation like most of your classmates. You'd be with the Special Ops squad. Did Levi want to keep me safe? You wondered.

Later, you spotted him sipping some tea alone in the dining area.

"Why didn't you tell me about the expedition?" You demanded, sitting down next to him.

He put his cup down so quietly that you could barley hear it. "I was going to. I just didn't have the time, or the right moment."

"I'm near the back, near you."

He stared down at his cup. "I want to keep you as safe as possible, _____."

"Levi-" You begin, but he cut you off.

"I don't want to hear it." He turned towards you, looking into your eyes. Your heart rate sped up. Was he going to...?

He leaned in so quickly that you didn't have time to finish your thought.

His lips pressed against yours, soft and yielding. You felt like you could fly, and let yourself become wrapped up in him, his body, heart and soul. You had no idea how long it lasted. You wanted it to last forever. But he pulled away slightly, letting his lips hover over yours and resting his hand on the back of your head, fingers tangling in your hair.

"I don't want to hear it," he repeated, so quietly, it could have only been a breath.


	5. Leaves

You'd been staring at the ceiling for half an hour now.

You sat up in your bed and let out a heavy sigh. You left for your first expedition tomorrow, and...well, you couldn't stop thinking about how it could possibly be your last. You pulled the covers off, and got out of bed. Perhaps a little bit of fresh air would help to clear the depressing thoughts. 

You opened the window and took in a deep breath through your nose. The air that rushed in was crisp, cold, and felt good cycling through your lungs. You rested your elbows on the window sill, and watched as leaves fell from the trees around you. 

"Stop falling, you damned leaves!" an angry voice called out. Looking around for it's source, your eyes settled on Levi, who was raking leaves on the grass below your window a little more violently than was necessary. A grin appeared on your face as you watched him bitterly stomp over to the leaf that fell. Maybe he would appreciate some help. You closed the window and threw on your uniform. You nearly crashed into Hanji, who was muttering god knows what to herself, on your way downstairs. 

"Hey....!" She exclaimed. "Watch where you're going!"

"Sorry!" You didn't even pause to look back at her. You were only focused on one thing.

You burst through the closest exit and rounded the corner. He was still there, watching miserably as more leaves continued to fall from the tree. His back was turned to you, so you took the opportunity to sneak up on him. You approached as quietly as you could, but when you reached the pile of leaves, you jumped in with both feet, trying to make as much noise as possible. He turned around when he heard the sound of leaves crunching. 

"Oh, it's you!" His eyes lightened. "What are you doing?"

You didn't say anything. Instead, you responded by bending down, picking up an armful of leaves, and throwing them over your head, trying to keep the best poker face you could as they floated to the ground. He stared at you, looking very displeased. His eyes drifted from you, to the leaves scattered on the ground, and back to you. Seconds passed before he finally said, "Oh."

Not being able to keep a straight face any longer, you let out a small giggle and lay down on the pile of leaves. "Don't you just love fall?" You asked. 

"...it's alright. It would be better if there weren't so many of these shitty things lying around all the time." He kicked the pile of leaves at his feet with distaste, illustrating his point. 

"You're such a clean-freak!" You teased. "It's not like anyone told you to do this."

"I don't enjoy living in dirt. Is that a problem?"

You smiled at him from your leaf pile. "Not at all."

"So," his tone grew more serious. "How are you feeling about tomorrow?"

The smile faded from your lips. You let out a heavy sigh and closed your eyes. "Would you lie with me and.... just forget the world for a moment?"

There was a second where you thought that he wouldn't. But you heard the sound of the rake being put down and the crunching of the leaves as he laid down next to you, and you already felt better than before. You opened your eyes and scooted closer to him, resting your head on his chest as he put one arm around you. You didn't speak, but you didn't need to. The sound of his heartbeat was a language of it's own. The steady beat and the rise and fall of his chest was enough to lull you sleep, and soon you felt yourself drifting from consciousness.

"Hon hon hon baguette Eiffel Tower," he blurted, bringing you back to awareness.

"Huh?" you propped yourself up on your elbows and turned to look at him.

"Oh, sorry. It just kind of slipped out."

You raised an eyebrow at him. He grinned, and you shoved a leaf in his face.

"Hey!" he chuckled, blowing the leaf off. "What was that for?"

"Nothing," you muttered, and you leaned down and kissed him. He rolled onto his side, and brought you closer. His thumbs traced the outline of your jaw, and continued to kiss you back.

Inside, Erwin watched silently. He was glad to see that Levi had found someone, and that you two were happy together, but he hoped that if something were to happen to either one of you it wouldn't destroy the other. Erwin believed that love between two people in the military was too risky. But, somehow, he felt that you and Levi would be fine.


	6. The Expedition Begins

"Jesus, what's taking Erd so long?" Gunter murmured.

"Perhaps he was taking a shit, but the shit wouldn't come out," Levi replied nonchantly. Gunter let out a sort of awkward snort.

You adjusted your position on your saddle, tapping your fingers impatiently on the horn. You were already nervous as hell about this, and Erd being late didn't exactly help. You looked around at your classmates, all sitting a little too stiffly on their horses, frightened looks plainly visible on their faces. Everyone knew that quite a few of you wouldn't be making it back alive. You hoped for the sake of humanity that at least half of you would survive.

The sound of hooves hitting the cobble stone made you sit up a little straighter. Erd trotted over to the group, fitting into his place in the formation.

"You're late," Commander Erwin looked annoyed.

"Sorry, sir." Erd brushed a strand of hair out of his face.

"Lets not waste any more time on him," Levi stared straight ahead at the 50 meter wall. "We're behind schedule now. Let's get a move on." 

"30 seconds until the gate opens!" Commander Erwin shouted. Your hands were clenched around your horse's reins so tightly that your knuckles had completely turned white. You forced yourself to loosen your grip. 

Levi turned on his saddle to face you. You were too far apart to speak to one another, but you could tell by the look on his face that he was trying to tell you not to worry. You forced the best smile you could, to show him that you had gotten the message. 

"Now is the time!" Commander Erwin's voice boomed again throughout the formation. "On this day, humanity will take another step forward! Prove to everyone what you are capable of! Open the gate!"

You and your fellow allies punched the air enthusiastically. The gate in front of you began to lift, and you suddenly felt your stomach drop. You lowered your arm again, swallowing heavily, all of the previous moment's enthusiasm now gone. But the gate was now completely lifted, and this wasn't the time to be fearful. You couldn't bear letting your comrades see how nervous you were. 

"Onward!" the Commander cried. You kicked your horse in the side and transitioned into a gallop. "We now begin the 54th expedition beyond the walls! Do your best to live!"

You silently sent a prayer to whatever god was out there that you would.

Keeping your horse's pace steady with that of the rest of the group, you took a look at the scenery around you. You hadn't been quite sure what the terrain outside of the walls would look like, but it wasn't nearly as extravagant as you heard. Most of the land was flat, covered in plains, and you could see for miles. The horizon was lined with titans. You focused on the trees instead. 

"Remember, the purpose of this expedition is to retrieve information about the Titans! Proceed into long-range scouting formation!" Commander Erwin made a gesture with his arm and the formation expanded.

"_____!" You turned your head at the sound of your name. Moses was now galloping beside you. "Good luck!" He yelled.

"You too!" You reply.

The first few minutes went smoothly. You almost thought you might make it to the forest without any interruptions. But of course, that was nothing more than wishful thinking. A streak of red shot through the sky, just visible out of the corner of your eyes, and immediately started to panic. 

_Calm down,_ you told yourself. You reached for your smoke round shot it into the air, relaying the message just as you were told to do. Soon after, other red smoke signals began to shoot into the air. All you needed now was a signal from commander Erwin. 

A minute had passed before you finally saw the green smoke, and the moment you did, you began directing your horse towards it. You were approaching the forest, which was a bit of a relief. It felt a little uncomfortable being out here on flat land, without any way to use the 3DMG. At least if you were surrounded by trees, you and your comrades would have a fighting chance against the titans. 

You were about 200 meters away from the edge of the forest when you saw your first Titan up close. It was a what looked like a 7m class, and it was running straight towards you. 

You gasped, fear rushing through your body. Not so much because of the approaching Titan, but because it would have been impossible for a Titan to get so far into the formation without being sighted. 

They were dead. The entire left flank of the formation was wiped out.

_How?!_ You fumbled for your red smoke round. _How is this possible?! There must have been hundreds of them if none of them fired a signal!_ You shot the round into the air, and tried to restrain a whimper. The Titan was almost upon you now. If you could just get to the forest....

"_____!" You whipped your head around and identified the source of the voice as Ness.

"Squad Leader Ness!" You cried, a small hint of relief in your voice.

"How many Titans have you spotted?"

"So far, just this one, sir!" You gestured towards the oncoming Titan.

"Alright! I'll take care of it, you go ahead to the forest!" He began to head towards the Titan.

"Sir!" You called out. He turned back to you. "How did it get this far into the formation?" You already knew what he would say, but you were still holding onto the hope that he might give you a different answer.

"The left flank was wiped out." There was a sense of sorrow in his voice. You furrowed your eyebrows together and watched as he galloped towards the Titan. Your part of the formation was extremely close to the edge of the forest now, and you could now see just how big the trees really were. Yep, the name "Forest of Giant Trees" was definitely appropriate. You sped up your horses gallop a little bit, and steered it towards the center of the formation. You could see Levi just entering the forest. You wondered if he was thinking about you. 

It was much easier to see once you were in the forest, the trees around you blocking out harsh sunlight. They towered over you, and their branches created a dome over your head.

"Titan spotted! 100 meters!" Someone shouted.

"Damn," you muttered. There was no escaping the Titans, not even in here.

Commander Erwin's voice was faint, but you could still hear it. "Switch to maneuver gear!" He shouted. Everyone jumped off their horses and sailed into nearby trees. You patted your horse on the neck and did the same. You weren't sure how high you were, but from your position you could see that there was more than just one Titan. You pulled out your blades and waited for the command to attack.

"Remember, the goal is to discover new information about them! Stick to your training, and split up into groups of five! PROCEED!" Commander Erwin ordered.

Suddenly, all of the fear that you were filled with a few minutes ago was gone. There was nothing but you and the Titans now. It didn't matter that they could crush you between two fingers. All that mattered then was humanity. You were fighting for the salvation of your species. That gave you all of the courage you needed. You soared through the air, dodging branches and the hands of hungry Titans as you went. You and your comrades headed for the shortest one, flipping over and under it, and tangling the wires of your 3DMG around it's ankles until it tripped and fell. You quietly let out a small victory cry and signaled for the others to come secure it down. You were overjoyed. 

That is, until you heard how the others were screaming. 

You turned to your left, just in time to see Moses slide down the throat of a Titan. He desperately reached his hand out in an attempt to grab on to someone or something, but the Titan clamped its jaw shut, severing his arm just above his elbow. It flew through the air, past your head, and you stopped breathing.

Jumping into the air, you spun around the Titan and cut deeply into the nape of its neck. He was already dead. This was the second best thing. 

"I'm sorry, Moses," you whispered, landing on a nearby tree branch and watching as the titan collapsed to the ground. "I'm sorry."


	7. The Last Time

You stayed there, crouched on the branch above the Titan you just had killed. You weren't sure where the others in your squad had gone at that point. You tried to look for them, but it was hard to make out the faces of the soldiers as they whizzed past you. It was starting to rain now, and the sky was rumbling with thunder. 

Someone touched your shoulder, and you flinched. "Are you alright, _____?" Levi was, crouching beside you, his hand on your shoulder and a sympathetic look on his face. Someone screamed in the background.

"They're all dying," you whispered. He didn't reply. Your vision was blurry with tears, so you pressed the heels of your hands into your eyes in an attempt to clear them. "I'm not strong enough to be a soldier." Your voice shook as you spoke. "I can't do this. I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize," he said. He pulled you close and held you in his arms. You grasped onto him tightly and let out a sob.

"I thought that I was strong, but I'm not! I'm just...I'm just a wimp!" Your voice was muffled by the fabric of his cloak, but he heard you anyways. 

"No. You're not." He pulled back for a moment to look at your face. "You're a fighter. I know you are." He wiped a tear from your cheek and helped you get up. "Stand up. There'll be plenty of time for crying when we make it back. Let's fight together."

You nodded, and put on your best brave face. He leaped off the branch, and you followed, keeping within arms length of him. The two of you headed for the nearest Titan and circled around it, and you watched as Levi effortlessly sliced through its skin. He taunted it first, drawing its attention by flying by its face, then mercilessly going straight in for the kill.

The Titan fell to the ground, and he returned to you. "Your turn."

You gave him a short nod before changing directions and flying straight towards the next Titan. He had made killing the thing look far easier than it actually was. But you had already killed one. You were sure that you could kill another. 

You flew low to the ground, at the same level as the Titan's ankles. _Screw finding information about them,_ you thought. _I'll kill them all right now!_ You shot up into the air and passed by it's head, waiting for it to try and grab you. It did, and you hung in midair above its neck for a second before bringing your blades down on it. Blood shot everywhere, and the Titan collapsed.

 _I killed another one!_ You looked around for Levi, but he was nowhere in sight. You hoped that he had seen you, but he must've been busy with another Titan. You shrugged it off. You could tell him about your victory later.

"15 meter class sighted! Several of them!" Someone yelled.

"I got this," you muttered to yourself, and followed the other soldiers through the trees. Six 15 meter-tall Titans stomped through the forest, limbs flailing wildly and jaws hanging open. 

_Damn!_ You thought. Where were all of these Titans coming from? At first, they seemed to pay no attention to the soldiers gliding by them, but it didn't last for long. One of them raised one of it's hands, grabbing at one of the nearby soldiers, but ended up tripping over someone's maneuver gear. You dodged to the side, just narrowly dodging the falling Titan.

 _Man, they sure are stupid._ You laughed to yourself as you watched another Titan trip over the one that fell, but your laughter was cut short when you felt yourself stop mid-flight. A large hand clenched around your torso. 

You knew what had grabbed you the moment you had felt colossal fingers gripping your body, but you were still afraid to turn around and look at the thing. The Titan held its mouth open so wide that it looked like its head was split in two.

"NO!" you screeched, and stabbed your blades into its hand. "I WON'T DIE!" But the stabbing didn't seem to effect it, and it brought you up to its mouth anyways. You squeezed your eyes shut and screamed, praying that someone would come to your rescue.

The next thing you knew, you were falling. You opened your eyes, expecting to be sliding down the throat of a Titan, but... you weren't. You could see the trees. You could also see the Titan that almost ate you. Blood was spurting from its neck.

The last thing you saw before you hit the ground was Levi.


	8. Blame

Everything was fuzzy. 

You heard shouting, but you couldn't make out what they were saying over the ringing in your ears. You tried to breathe, but air refused to enter your lungs. It took several blinks before you could focus your eyesight well enough to see anything. Someone was coming towards you. They were saying something that kind of sounded like your name. 

"Levi...?" You mumble quietly. 

"Oh thank god." He picked you up in his arms and leapt back into the air. Cold rain was hitting your face. "_____, I'm so sorry." 

You were still too hazy to respond. 

"Shit," he muttered. There was still one Titan wandering around, and Levi's yelling had caught it's attention. He landed on a nearby branch, and carefully laid you down. "I have to kill it." 

You watched him take off. Your body was hurting like hell, and you were still having trouble breathing. Probably because of how far you had just fallen.

 

The more your head cleared, the more obvious the huge thing looming over you became.

 

A Titan was reaching for you. It picked you up by the cloak and held you in the air.

_MOVE!_ You screamed at yourself, but your body would not obey. You opened your mouth to cry out for help, from Levi, from anyone, but you couldn't speak. 

Levi looked up in time to see the monster drop you into its mouth.

He screamed for you, and launched towards it. Maybe it hadn't swallowed you. Maybe you were still dangling in its throat, hanging on for dear life. But it's mouth was empty. He felt the behemoth try to close its jaws, and jumped back before they snapped shut. 

"Bastard!" He wailed, and spun in a circular motion, slicing his blades through the neck of the Titan. He floated to the ground and stood in silence, looking at the dead monster. He collapsed onto his knees and let out a sob. You were dead, and it was all his fault. 

 

~

 

Later that night, back at the scouting legion headquarters, Commander Erwin searched for Levi. He knew that something must have happened, for he could not find him anywhere. They had lost a lot of men on this expedition, and those that lived suffered a serious injuries, but that wasn't what frustrated him. They had no more information than they had left with. His soldiers had served as nothing more than Titan food. 

He pushed open door after door, checking every room for either Levi or the recruit he was involved with. But his search didn't turn up much. He was just about to give up when he remembered the roof. He headed up the stairs to the door that led to the roof and and slowly pushed it open.

There he saw Levi, sitting on the edge with his head resting on his knees. He walked up and sat down next to him. "...where's _____?" 

Levi was silent. He clenched his hands into a tight fists, and looked down at his knees. "She's dead," he said finally. "She's dead, and it's all my fault."

Erwin looked at him with sympathy. "I'm sorry," he said quietly. 

Levi grabbed at his hair, shaking slightly. "I should never have left her alone. She was injured. She couldn't move. I abandoned her. I could have..." he trailed off. 

"You know how these missions go. A lot of men die, and there isn't anything we can do about it."

Levi let go of his hair and looked at Erwin. "She could still be alive. I could have kept her safe." He could still see you in his mind, laughing, teasing him about being a clean-freak. He just wanted to hold you again, to see you the way you would blush when he called you beautiful. If he just had a chance to tell you how he felt... 

"From now on, I'm going to save everyone that I possibly can." Levi stared out at the horizon. "I'm not going to watch more people die on my account. If I couldn't save _____, then maybe I can save others. Even if it costs me my life." 

Erwin was about to say something, but was interrupted by Gunter bursting through the door. 

"Commander Erwin sir!" He said, a look of extreme panic in his eyes. "The Titans have broken through Wall Maria and into the Shiganshina District!"

_**End** _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you so much for reading! special thanks to ignacioclaude for editing!


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